A plane takes away almost every normal way you'd calm down, so you bring a few that fit in a seat.
The cabin door closes, the engines spool up, and there's nothing left to do but sit there. Planes take away most of the normal ways you'd calm down, because you can't go for a walk or step outside, and the person next to you has the armrest. Thanksgiving week is one of the busiest travel weeks of the year, so if you're flying this month, it's worth having a plan for how to calm down on a plane that fits inside your seat.
The good news is that the things that work best on the ground don't need much room, so most of them come with you. It helps to know what's winding you up first.
Why Flying Winds Up Your Nervous System
A flight stacks a lot of small stressors on top of each other. There's the rush through security, a loud cabin, dry air, a seat you can't get out of and a schedule you have no control over, and your body reads all of it as a reason to stay alert. None of it's dangerous, but your nervous system doesn't sort stress by how serious it is. It just adds it up.
That's why a lot of people land exhausted after a flight where they did nothing but sit. So the plan is to give your body a signal at each point where the stress usually stacks, starting well before the plane moves.
Before You Board
Most of the stress of flying happens before you're on the plane. Get to the airport earlier than you think you need to, because rushing is one of the fastest ways into go mode there is, which I got into in why rushing keeps you in fight or flight. Once you're through security, find a seat a little away from the gate, put your headphones on and do five minutes of slow breathing before boarding starts. The free kimorii: Breathwork & Hinoki app (on iPhone and Android) has the sounds of the forest built in, which beats listening to gate announcements. Just keep one ear out for your group.
Takeoff and Turbulence: Use a Long Exhale
When the engines go up or the plane drops a little, breathe in for four and out for six or eight, through your nose if you can. Making the exhale longer than the inhale is one of the most direct signals you can give your body to come down, and it works sitting upright with your seatbelt on. If your heart is racing, put a hand flat on your chest while you do it. I went through that one in hand on heart breathing.
Your breath is the one tool nobody can take off you at security, and the second one is whatever you pack.
A Note
If you have a real fear of flying, this can take the edge off, but it isn't the whole answer. A lot of airlines run fear of flying courses, and talking to a professional is worth it if flying stops you from going places.
Bring a Scent You Already Know
A familiar scent is one of the best things you can bring on a plane, because smell reaches the emotional part of your brain without a detour, and a scent you've breathed with a hundred times at home carries that whole routine with it. It doesn't matter that you're in seat 34B. Your body still recognizes the cue.
I fly to Japan a couple of times a year to work with the forest and the distillery, and I breathe with hinoki oil every two hours on the ground, so it's the one I'd bring. The bottle is 10ml, which is well under the carry on liquids limit. Open it under your nose for three or four slow breaths and cap it again, which is considerate to the people around you, and hinoki is best close and fresh anyway.
How to Sleep on a Plane, or at Least Come Down
If it's a long flight, think of the moment you want to sleep as bedtime at home. Same cue, same breathing: a few breaths of the scent you use at night, then 4-7-8, in for four, hold for seven, out for eight. An eye mask and earplugs do a lot of the work blackout shades do at home, and skipping the movie for the last hour before you try to sleep helps more than people expect.
Then there's the part that starts when the wheels touch down.
Landing in a New Time Zone
When you land, get outside in daylight as soon as you can and eat on local time, because light and meals are two of the strongest signals your body clock uses. Keep your bedtime routine at the local bedtime, even if the first night is a little rough. I wrote more about it in hinoki oil for jet lag.
You don't get much control on a plane, but you do get your breath and what's in your bag, and that's usually enough.
Frequently Asked Questions
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you calm down on a plane?
Breathe in for four and out for six or eight, so your exhale is longer than your inhale. It's one of the most direct signals you can give your body to come down, and it works in your seat with your belt on. Leaving early for the airport and breathing with a familiar scent help too.
How do you stay calm on a long flight?
Break the flight into parts and give each one a signal: slow breathing at the gate, a long exhale during takeoff, and your normal bedtime cue when you want to sleep. Skip screens for the last hour before sleeping, and use an eye mask and earplugs.
Can you bring essential oils on a plane?
Yes. In the US, TSA allows essential oils in your carry on as long as each bottle is 3.4 ounces (100ml) or less and fits in your quart size liquids bag. Rules can differ by country, so check before an international flight. A 10ml bottle is well under the limit.
What helps when turbulence makes you nervous?
Put a hand flat on your chest and breathe out slowly, longer than you breathe in, until the bumps pass. Looking at something steady, like the seat in front of you, helps too. If fear of flying is stopping you from traveling, a fear of flying course or a professional can help.
